By R. T. Garner
When life knocks us down, it often forces us to ask: Who am I really? Am I just the sum of everything that’s happened to me, or can I choose to be something different? This question is at the heart of Carl Jung’s powerful words: “I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.” It’s a reminder that, no matter what we’ve been through, we have the power to redefine ourselves. This message comes to life in the poem “I Chose to Be Free,” which tells the story of a veteran’s courageous decision to break away from the confines of family and societal expectations in order to reclaim their true self.
The poem takes us through the raw and real journey of someone living with PTSD – a reality that’s often misunderstood by those around them. It paints a picture of what it means to be seen only through the lens of trauma and to feel trapped by the labels others impose. But like Jung’s quote, the poem is about more than just the pain of the past; it’s about the bold choice to step away from those limiting definitions and rewrite one’s own story. Both the poem and the quote remind us that our identity isn’t fixed by what’s happened to us; it’s something we can choose and create, moment by moment.
“I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.” — Carl Jung
I Chose to Be Free
When asked of choices, hardest in my life,
I spoke without pause, without a knife –
Leaving my family was the choice I made,
Not from desire, but a path I had to pave.
As a veteran scarred by battles unseen,
With PTSD, my life became a screen –
A lens through which they could not see,
A person beyond a diagnosis, beyond the debris.
For years, I tried to make it right,
To show them the man beyond the fight,
But I saw myself fading in their eyes,
Trapped in a version they’d idealize.
To stay would mean losing who I am,
A soul drowned by what they couldn’t understand.
Choosing myself meant stepping away,
From love that had turned to a suffocating cage.
I chose my sanity, my right to be whole,
Not just a “condition” with limits to control.
For every moment of doubt they instilled,
I sought to reclaim the truth that they killed.
Their love was filtered through fear and disdain,
They couldn’t see past the scars, only the pain.
Every bad day was a symptom to fix,
Not a moment of humanness they could coexist.
I was never a problem; I was never a disease,
Yet in their eyes, I was never set free.
To love them was to change, to bend and to break,
But my spirit needed more than they could ever remake.
I remember my sister’s words, her cold plea,
“He just wants us to change for him,” said to me.
Yet they tried to mold me into what they could bear,
Not a person who fought battles, but someone to repair.
The hypocrisy stung, but it opened my eyes,
To the limits they set, to the narrative I defied.
My dreams were dismissed, capped by their doubt,
But I chose a life where my spirit could shout.
It wasn’t easy, the choice to depart,
It came with grief, tearing at the heart.
But I missed what family should be, not what it became,
A space where love was free, not a diagnosis’ name.
I don’t miss the judgment or the toxic weight,
The feeling of being “fixed” for their sake.
I chose to walk away, to seek my own light,
To build a life where I could freely write.
Now, I’m not just PTSD; I’m a person alive,
With dreams to chase, with strength to survive.
I’ve found a freedom in choosing my path,
In stepping away from what bound me to wrath.
Do I love them? Yes. Do I miss them? True.
But not the narrative that kept me askew.
I reclaimed my story, my worth, and my peace,
By choosing myself, I chose to be free.
So when asked of the hardest choice I’ve made,
It was leaving behind what love had decayed.
It was choosing a future where I define my worth,
Where I am whole, where I walk my own earth.
I chose to live fiercely, to love without chains,
To refuse to be boxed by others’ refrains.
To honor my journey, each scar and each breath,
I chose to be free, and it saved me from death.
