By: R.T. Garner
In 2009, my life plan took a different turn when I had to leave the Army after 13 years due to medical reasons. With no clear vision for the future, I was forced to search for a new path and reevaluate my aspirations and career. This unexpected change prompted me to redefine my identity and seek a new purpose.
I felt fear and uncertainty, grappling with PTSD and other challenges stemming from my experience in combat. I encountered unforeseen obstacles, diverging from my intended path of a long Army career and retirement. The unsettling aspect was not knowing where my life was headed.
Now I understand that I have made numerous mistakes that I could have prevented and wish I had. However, such is the nature of life. We all make mistakes, but what if I had the opportunity to avoid them? Would I be in a better place today? Would I have achieved more success? Would I feel more satisfied? The potential list of these hypothetical situations could be unending and span several pages.
So, you may be wondering what mistakes I made. Here are a few key issues that hindered my progress:
1. The conclusion of my military service and the difficulty of securing equivalent employment left me feeling shattered.
2. The fear of failure made me hesitant to attempt new endeavors.
3. I accepted the limitations that others imposed on me.
4. I allowed others’ perceptions of me to dictate my self-esteem.
5. I should have established appropriate goals before and after leaving the Army.
6. I needed help to find the correct path, and asking for it is ok.
However, another important consideration is what I gained from my experience and what I wish I had known beforehand. Looking back, the most valuable lesson one can learn is to listen to one’s own desires in life. Ignore expectations, advice, and “should haves.” Disregard others’ opinions and live according to one’s own preferences.
This process could have been more straightforward and required time to comprehend because change is difficult. I didn’t realize that discovering my genuine purpose, identity, and happiness would be challenging. It is indeed a difficult journey. It is a struggle to adopt new ways of thinking and to let go of the life, love, or hope I once desired. Change is always challenging. However, one important thing you can do for yourself is to uncover what makes you happy and grow according to your values. It involves identifying what is most important to you, igniting your passion, and finding the motivation to love yourself more, ultimately leading you to discover your true purpose and live life according to your terms.
For me, discovering my genuine path entails embracing the person I aspire to become rather than conforming to others’ expectations. Ultimately, life is about finding the discernment that brings happiness to oneself, you! However, you can still navigate it by yourself. If I had the chance to start over, I would have appreciated having someone to help me craft a plan and guide me through much of that process.
Reflecting on the past, I believe that with the appropriate “plan,” I could have achieved greater success in discovering my true path. I aspire to fulfill this role and assist others in setting achievable goals, recognizing their self-worth, and understanding that personal setbacks are not always their fault.
Over the years, I have come to understand the following principles:
1. You are not flawed
2. It’s okay to experience failure
3. You can dispel misconceptions
4. The significance of self-value
5. The importance of setting goals
6. Live your life purposefully
My role now involves assisting people who have encountered challenges to develop a renewed sense of self-belief, achieve their aspirations, and find their true path. Ultimately, this empowers them to experience purpose, pride, and dignity, leading to a stronger belief in themselves. A quote that has stuck with me is, “I want to inspire people. I want someone to look at me and say because of you, I didn’t give up.” I aim to ensure that others do not become a part of the statistic of 22. The essential message is to never cease in the fight!
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