For veterans, the battle doesn’t always end with service; it continues in the struggle to find purpose, identity, and belonging in civilian life.
By R. T. Garner
For 14 years, I’ve been fighting a battle I never expected: the struggle to find my place after leaving the military. I graduated from West Point, served my country, and earned three master’s degrees. On paper, it looks like I should be thriving. Yet here I am, stuck in a cycle of self-doubt, frustration, and a deep sense of failure.
In 2004, I stood among my peers at West Point, filled with pride and a sense of accomplishment. I had earned my place at one of the most rigorous institutions in the world, surrounded by leaders destined for greatness. Like many of my classmates, I envisioned a lifelong career in the Army, rising through the ranks, and eventually transitioning into a civilian leadership role that would capitalize on everything I had learned and accomplished.
But life has a way of veering off course. In 2010, I was medically retired from the Army, years before I had planned to leave. My career, my purpose, and my identity as a leader were suddenly taken away. The structured life I had built, with its clear goals and direction, vanished overnight. What followed was a chaotic and often painful journey of rebuilding, a journey that still feels incomplete.
This year marked my 20-year West Point reunion, a milestone I should have celebrated. Instead, I stayed home. I was too embarrassed to face my classmates, many of whom have gone on to achieve incredible things. They’re now lieutenant colonels, colonels, CEOs, congressmen, etc. And me? I report to a manager who was a private first class when I was leading soldiers.
Once, I confided this to a former classmate who is now a lieutenant colonel. I told him about my current position and my boss’s rank when they left the military. He gave me a smirk and laughed, as if to say, Are you serious? That laugh cut deeper than I expected. It wasn’t just a reaction, it was a mirror reflecting all the doubts and insecurities I’ve carried since leaving the military.
The Burden of Expectations
West Point instills in its graduates a culture of excellence, competition, and relentless discipline. We are trained to lead, to inspire, to rise to any challenge. But what happens when those expectations meet the messy reality of civilian life?
For many veterans, transitioning from the military to civilian careers is a difficult process. For West Point graduates and officers, the challenges are unique. Leadership roles that once defined our identities often don’t translate into civilian contexts. Employers frequently undervalue military experience, and the cultural differences between military and corporate environments create barriers to understanding.
The weight of comparison only magnifies these struggles. Seeing my classmates thrive in high-profile roles while I’ve spent years trying to find my footing has been a constant reminder of my perceived failures. For West Point graduates, the pressure is even greater. We’re seen as the elite — the ones who are supposed to lead by example. When we struggle, it feels like we’ve let everyone down: our families, our peers, and even the institution that shaped us.
A Crisis of Identity and Purpose
The loss of leadership roles and military identity is one of the most profound challenges veterans face during their transition. In the Army, I was responsible for making decisions, leading teams, and carrying the weight of leadership. Those roles gave me a sense of purpose and confidence that I’ve struggled to replicate in civilian life.
Civilian leadership often looks very different from military leadership. Hierarchies are less defined, decision-making processes are slower, and the values driving organizations don’t always align with those we learned in the military. These cultural gaps make it difficult to find roles that feel meaningful, leaving many of us questioning our place and our value.
For me, this struggle has been deeply personal. I work in career development, helping others find jobs and achieve their goals. I guide them through the same transitions I’ve struggled with, and while I’m proud of the work I do, it often feels hollow. How can I help others succeed when I feel like I’ve failed myself? Every success story I help create is a bittersweet reminder of how far I feel from where I want to be.
The Mental Health Toll
These professional struggles are closely tied to mental health challenges. Studies show that the suicide rate among veterans is 1.5 times higher than the general population, and unemployment or underemployment only increases that risk. For officers and academy graduates, the stakes are even higher. The loss of leadership identity, financial strain, and the weight of expectations can create a perfect storm of isolation and despair.
The transition to civilian life can lead to mental health challenges for many veterans, particularly those underemployed. Research shows that underemployed veterans experience significantly higher rates of depression (42%) and suicidal ideation (15%) than their employed counterparts (18% depression, 5% suicidal ideation). (RAND Corporation, 2020).
The stigma surrounding mental health in military culture compounds the problem. We’re trained to be strong, to push through adversity, and to see vulnerability as weakness. Seeking help often feels like admitting defeat, and even when we do, civilian therapists or counselors may not fully understand the nuances of our experiences.
I’ve seen the toll this takes, not just on myself but on friends and classmates who haven’t made it. The grief of losing peers to suicide is compounded by the survivor’s guilt and the unspoken question: Why them and not me?
Financial Strain and Underemployment
The financial challenges of transition add another layer of difficulty. Civilian jobs often pay less than military officer salaries, particularly for leadership roles. Underemployment — working in positions that don’t fully utilize our skills or experience, is a common reality for many veterans.
“The median income for veterans often lags behind the equivalent civilian workforce, particularly for former officers transitioning into leadership roles in the private sector.” (Bureau of Labor Statistics, 2021).
A 2021 RAND study revealed that nearly 50% of veterans feel underemployed, with officers being particularly vulnerable. The cost of transition, from moving families to establishing a civilian lifestyle, combined with the loss of military benefits, creates financial instability that can exacerbate mental health challenges.
For West Point graduates, underemployment isn’t just a financial issue; it’s an emotional one. It’s hard not to tie our worth to our professional titles and achievements, especially when we’ve been trained to lead and excel.
What Needs to Change?
Addressing these challenges requires systemic change and a shift in perspective:
- Targeted Transition Programs
Programs tailored to officers and academy graduates, focusing on translating military leadership into civilian careers. - Employer Education
Companies must recognize the value of military leadership and actively recruit veterans for roles that align with their skills and experience. - Mental Health Support
Destigmatizing mental health struggles within the military and alumni networks is crucial. Alumni organizations like West Point’s can play a key role in fostering openness and connection. - Redefining Success
Veterans must learn to see success not as a continuation of rank or status but as finding purpose and fulfillment in new ways.
A Call to Action
This journey is deeply personal, but it’s not unique. Veterans, especially those from leadership backgrounds, face systemic barriers that make transition incredibly challenging. By sharing our stories, we can break the silence around these struggles and advocate for meaningful change.
To my fellow veterans: You’re not alone. The weight of expectations is heavy, but it doesn’t have to define you. Together, we can build a future where veterans are valued not just for their past service but for the incredible potential they bring to civilian life.
Call to Action:
If this resonates with you, share your story or join the conversation. Let’s work together to create a brighter path for veterans navigating life after service.
Examining the Underemployment of Veterans
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Citations:
Bureau of Labor Statistics. (2021). Employment Situation of Veterans. Retrieved from https://www.bls.gov.
RAND Corporation. (2020). Understanding Veteran Employment Challenges. Retrieved from https://www.rand.org
Wenger, J. W., O’Connell, C., & Cottrell, L. (2018). Examining the Underemployment of Veterans. RAND Corporation. Retrieved from https://www.rand.org/pubs/research_briefs/RBA1363-3.html
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